We Plan, God Laughs

So, one eventful incident of our wedding, other than our brief stint on national news, was the officiant, or rabbi, who was expected to officiate. Except he couldn't because he had the flu. Which was fine, given that another rabbi was already on their way to Houston. I guess knowing a few comes in handy now and again. 

Now, there was a little hecticness. But in the end, it worked out just fine. As the saying goes, "We plan, God laughs." And that's the name of the game. A neverending sorting of the expected and non. Because while there are curve balls that come our way, there are also consistencies to life. A sense of order in our reality. It's both. Chaos. And order. And depending on the day, we tend to view the world this way. Either life is a giant mess. Or it's as forthright and predictable as a day is long. Let's start with the latter. 

I've only been alive for thirty-five years, and so far, I can attest that life goes as it did yesterday and the day before. I conceive of this outlook as a random number generator. When we press it, ANY number can come out. But we can all agree that the letter "F" isn't suddenly going to appear on the screen. In this worldview, life feels manageable and controllable. To an extent. Because it's regulated by laws of physics and the behaviors of human life and social design. The seeds we plant in the ground are consistent with those growing. They are probably the same ones. We don't put sunflower seeds in the soil and yield a donkey. This is our sense of organized reality. And it keeps us feeling happy. 

We consider buying something tangible, maybe something material. We entertain switching professions and starting anew. We hem and haw over moving. From either the state or even the country we're currently living in. And then, with enough intentionality, focus, and work, it happens. We think it, we do it, and there it is. You wanted to be a doctor. We say, "I want to be a doctor." So you go to school, and there it is. Mazal Tov! A doctor. Even getting to the end result can be like pushing through a crowded bar. Getting shoved around a bit and maybe spilling a beer or two. But ultimately, things do happen.

Before we know it, our life looks roughly as we've devised. It's like our imagination has spilled onto the canvas. And we feel in control. That life is "for the taking," and we are merely plucking berries from the vine. Because after time, it can feel that life is a game of chance and odds. A matter of how likely something is to occur. And that feeling of knowing probabilities equips us with a sense of security. And power. It's like betting. We play. We even get good. We place bigger bets. Follow the same rules. Play more. Win bigger, become more empowered. Learn more rules until we positively know the design of the game board itself. And then suddenly, things don’t go as anticipated —because life is predictable until it's not. 

This brings us to the other half of the equation. The death that leaves us spiraling. Getting fired. An unexpected pregnancy. A natural disaster. The list is endless (well, not endless). And we begin questioning our sense of control. During these times, we find humility and frailty in the human experience.

Our parsha this week, Exodus, is precisely this duality. Things are going well for Joseph. He's predicting dreams. Saving his family. The Jewish people are right on track. Until a new Pharoh arises and then suddenly. We're slaves. Not even again. Like it's happened before. But for the very first time. Just like that. Part of growing older is seeing the patterns that emerge within people in human behavior. It is being left scrambling when we think we've figured it out. It's precisely this back-and-forth feeling between order and chaos that I believe Judaism emerges. 

For me, Judaism is an approximate playbook. Nor is it a radar for scouting the unordinary. It's a vehicle. That helps us steer over the potholes that we know about. And the ones we don't. That's it. Judaism is our unique way of dealing with this orderly yet chaotic world. It's there for us during the occasions that arise premeditatively. And the times that come out of nowhere. It’s for the lifecycle events and the events that occur in the cycle of life.